You were warned…
This week contained the four days of every month that makes me kind of stabby. Really…there are 26 days every month where I’m fine. Perfectly, totally fine. Why people can’t manage to stay away from me for those four short days I’ll never know. Sine this week wasn’t so bad outside of those four days I present:
1. Why are you in such a bad mood? Are you on your period or something?
Shut up. I already hate everyone. Now I hate you most of all. Where are the knives?
2. Didn’t you just have your period like a week or two ago?
Seriously. Shut up now. While you’re ahead. I could find the knives any second now…
3. At least you’re not pregnant.
Why are you still talking? Please leave and don’t come back without chocolate.
4. I’m so glad I don’t have to worry about that anymore.
I’m so glad that I stopped listening to you an hour ago. Seriously, where are those knives?
5. You know, I never get cramps.
You know, I’ll never get caught once I find the right place to buy the body…